I am embarrassing

On a recent trip to Wal-Mart, I took my three sons with me. I remind them *not* to embarrass me, by acting like little hoodlums - fighting, yelling, running, etc, or I would embarrass them right back with a smack to the head (didn't have to carry it out). They assured me there would be no mutual embarrassment.

We were browsing the aisles looking for sunscreen (when the HELL did sunscreen get so damn expensive?!), when one of the kids suggested we buy band-aids. As I already have some at home, hidden well, I asked him why he wanted to buy some, did he have a boo-boo? Eric (10) promptly informed me that I was embarrassing them! In public, I canNOT use baby words like "boo-boo." Apparently "ouchie" is unacceptable also. The only acceptable term for a wound is "sore" or "cut." Amazing what turns into a long, serious discussion, huh?
I think they all knew I was being silly. At least I hope they did. I still like the word boo-boo, and will continue to use it - I'll just try to remember not to do it in public.

You only turn 28 once.

My computer died. On my birthday! And I sliced a little chunk of skin out of my pinky finger. On my birthday! The rest of the day was fairly pleasant though.
I was seriously missing out on my celeb gossip while being computerless. Now that I am borrowing my sister's laptop, who knows how many pages of tmz I have to go through.
So Friday night, I was out *ahem* celebrating my birthday, and I dropped a glass and broke it. I picked it up, and sliced my finger. It hurt plenty, but I'm a big baby, and I bet it would have hurt a lot more if I could totally feel it (before you wonder, I had a responsible, sober driver). I bled all over the place, and my wonderful girlfriend followed me around wiping my blood up off the floor. I should've gotten a couple of stitches, but I'm scared of them. Really and truly, I'm scared of stitches, ha!
I've had a bandaid on and off, but I enjoy showing off my battle scars. I would totally never want to see anyone else's disgusting boo-boo, but mine is cool! But ugly. Kind of like expensive shoes. Saturday night I had a party scheduled, but I was being such a baby about my painful finger, another consultant did it. I stayed home in a robe, and read my Grisham. On a Saturday night! And I liked it! I'm starting to worry about myself. . .
***As I was labeling this blog, and typed in "boo-boos" it reminded me of the time a couple of years ago when Nolan and Calvin were concerned about the nasty sore on Grace's finger. They didn't want her to die, so the SOP when you don't want someone to die is to google their symptoms, right? They went to google and typed in BO BO. Cute or WHAT?

Introduction

Ooh, look at me! I started a blog. I'm young (aren't I young still?) and not too tech-retarded, so I guess I just joined the 21st century.
First step came choosing the URL for my blog. . . dammit, you know what happens with you are the billionth person to start a blog? Same thing as in the late 90's, when you were the billionth person to sign up for an AOL account, all the good names are taken!
I don't really have 15 kids. I have 4, and sometimes 5 (the 5th is His daughter). I babysit my nieces and nephew, and the occasional neighborhood kid. Once, during cycle break, there actually WERE 15 kids here. I killed them all and buried them under my trailer, so this blog is a tribute to them.
***Please know I am kidding, I need a few hours notice for Family Services to show up at my door so I can clean a little bit instead of write blogs in the internet.***
And the rest, well, when people ask me, "How do you do it?" I respond, "I drink a lot," which, I assure you, is only semi-true. ***Again, please let me know if Family Services is going to show up!***
I am a stay-at-home-mom, but really only during the day. I have three sons in Cub Scouts, I am my niece's Girl Scout leader, and I have my own business. I am a Pure Romance consultant, I do in-home parties for women - my friends call me The Dildo Slinger.
Mornings I spend time drinking coffee, looking up stuff online, and going outside for smoke breaks while the kids are watching Dora, Diego, and WonderPets.
I'm a spelling, grammar, and punctuation nerd. I am not a queen typist, however, and will rarely waste my time proofreading or editing, since chances are I got it right the first time (haha, I spelled grammar wrong, but I fixed it). I don't like using capitalization or apostrophes, but I feel like I should for this first blog, since we are just meeting - I feel like I should "act" somewhat professional. Don't expect it from here on out though.
I wonder if anyone will ever see this blog? I wonder if I will ever tell people about it? I wonder if I will ever write anything of SUBSTANCE? Probably not. At least not to the last question.